Month Two - Week Two - Day Five

259.0 lbs this morning. I nearly burst into tears. The thing is, for most of last year I was around 253. So I've settled in at this new, higher rate, and it's killing me. It's so discouraging.

Gym after work today, and work is a 1/2 day for me. Errands to run.

I've applied my tax refund monies toward good things like an emergency fund, paying off debt, and a down payment on a new used car. I'm trying to up my credit rating so I can get a lower interest rate on a car, and maybe pay a little less each month, or at least the same amount for more car. Something like that. Something good. I'm trying to stay on top of my funds, build a buffer, be able to have nice things. The goal is to spend less than I earn, right? Why is that so hard? I wouldn't be making ends meet if it weren't for my bonus and refund. Then again, I am accelerating payments on my cards. Still, it's a wake up call.

But like my weight, because I can squeeze and manipulate my way around it, I'm not worried yet. I do want to get to the point where I use my rewards cards for all purchases and pay them off immediately, before the bill comes. And so the other cards are just for show, just for fun, just in case, to be phased out over the course of a year, before annual payments are due. After I have the new car. Once my credit is up.

Are we going to buy a house? Are we going to get married? I wonder all the time. But truthfully, I'm prolly not there yet. I'm lose in my supermarket. I'm overwhelmed and under motivated. I'm fat and I'm lazy.